My Testimony

Where do I begin? I fully gave my life to the Lord on January 3rd, 2025, at 7 in the morning. But why? Why that day? Why that time? Why do you remember that date and time?

I was raised in church, but not just in the church; my family was the church. From attending my Grandma and Papa’s services in the living room at the age of 3 to being a part of my mother and her ex-husband’s church from 9 to 16 years old. I attended a Christian private school until 4th grade, but remained at a Christian summer enrichment program until 9th grade. See, I am no stranger to the church world or the workings of the Lord. But I always struggled with understanding all that God was and is. I remember riding home from church, looking out at the trees, thinking to myself God created all these trees? As I got older and life happened in my home, domestic disputes and so on, I began my race of running away from God. I wanted nothing to do with the church. I didn’t like the people in the church, and the performance of it. With my mother’s ex-husband being a pastor, that caused a lot of damage in my own personal relationship with God, because the man of my household, the one who was supposed to cover me in prayer and lead me spiritually, was using God as a weapon against me. By the end of high school, I was getting high and trying to get as far from church as I possibly could.

The summer before college, I started dating this boy. I began to give this boy my body, slow at first and then completely. We started college, and this relationship was not good for me. I dealt with verbal abuse from him. And during him, I found crystals, chakras, meditation, and zodiac signs. I also started abusing alcohol and was extremely depressed. Being in a new state, starting at a new school, having no friends, and having an overbearing boyfriend. I was looking for peace and comfort anywhere I could find it. But the thing is, I could never truly get into crystals and putting my faith in all the new age things because of how I was raised. But the struggle continued for many years.

At the end of my junior year of college, I met THE boy. The boy who tested me in every aspect of life. I was attracted to this boy at first because of two things: he had lots of books in his room, and second, he sold and made crystal jewellery. At the time, we aligned on many of the same things spiritually. We talked for 6 months before I became his girlfriend, but we were already living together by month 5. During my time with him, I was verbally, mentally, and spiritually attacked. Reflecting on my time with him, we were constantly at spiritual war with one another. He was a warlock, and I was nothing at that point. I didn’t know what I believed in; all I knew was that there was a God. I was dabbling with Buddhism and new age, but again, nothing was sticking. Where I am now on my walk, I can look back and recount when the Lord was talking to me during my time with him. To think I could hear him so clearly and not recognize his voice. The second time I walked into that man’s room, God told me NO, and I said YES, bulldozing myself into this relationship with him. This relationship tried to break me in every way, and it was truly only God's protection that kept me for the 2 years we were together.

Toward the end of our relationship, we were an on-again off off-again couple. Our arguments were getting worse, and his blow-ups were on an upward trend. The Lord told me to break up with him at the 1-year mark again I said NO. I held on, I loved that man to the end of me. I was willing to damn my soul if it meant I could be with him. But I was tormented at night not with demons but with the fact that I knew I was going against God. Looking back, I would spend my night tossing a turning, fighting the will of God. I did not have peace the entire time we were together. I was living in sin on purpose, and there would never be peace in that. God's demand for me only got louder and more protestant the longer we were together. I used to pray and ask God to break up with me. I didn’t want to do it myself. But it was for me to end because I was the one who was being disobedient. The arguments went on in front of my family, sometimes involving my family. Yet I had convinced myself that he was my husband, or at least I tried to. From November 29th, 2025, to December 30th, 2025, we had our worst arguments, and final lines were crossed. And God's voice was clear during that time; I finally recognized that it was God telling me to leave. On January 2nd, 2025, my ex-boyfriend and I watched a movie with my family, “The Forge.” During that movie, I knew I had to give something up, SOMEONE up.

January 3rd, 2025, at 3 am, I broke up with my boyfriend. He left at 7 am. I say that I gave my Life to the Lord on that day and at that time because that was the day and time I surrendered my heart to the Lord. I struggled with this decision for some time afterwards. Many times, I cried out to the Lord to change his mind. But the Lord has renewed and is healing me, and he has restored me.

I ran from the Lord a long time. Even though walking with the Lord is not easy or simple sometimes, I would never leave his side again because he will always be with me and lead me, says the Lord. Psalm 23, Psalm 139, & Matthew 11 28-30